What makes us happy to continue suffering?
We hear so many negatives about leaving our 9-to-5s, not only from our bosses but from friends and family, too.
This book will give you the permission to explore a non-traditional career path, by making it make sense and changing your mindset.
If you’ve already quit your job and you don’t really know what you’re going to do but you feel lost about it, this book will make you feel better about your decision.
I’ll go through 4 of my favorite points from the book, which is called ‘The Pathless Path’ by Paul Millerd.
Default Path vs. The Pathless Path
The default path is what is ingrained in us when we’re younger.
Going to school, getting good grades, starting a good career, making money from full-time work, and eventually, after all that hard work, you might be happy.
To some, i.e. my entire family, that sounds like the dream. To me, it sounds like an insidious nightmare, although I did partake.
Paul Millerd’s definition of ‘The Pathless Path’ is:
“An alternative to the default path. It is an embrace of uncertainty and discomfort. It’s a call to adventure in a world that tells us to conform. It’s also a gentle reminder to laugh when things feel out of control and trusting that an uncertain future is not a problem to be solved.”
Paul Millerd
When I quit my 9-to-5, I was wrought with uncertainty. I didn’t really know what my life was going to look like, or where I would be 5 years down the line.
Speaking to my family made matters worse because everyone gets rattled when you tell them you’re going to quit your job. Even those who don’t care about you, and add no value to your life feel entitled to a say.
I learned quickly to keep my family and friends out of this decision.
In this book, Paul does a really good job at actually determining the root of your feelings of uncertainty and helps put it into perspective.
The Certainty Trap
The mindset that forces you to conform to your current path.
For the sake of certainty, so many of us are willing to go through suffering in our jobs, that we don’t actually like. We’re willing to put up with this for at least the next few years until we can climb up the ladder for a promotion.
I hate to break it to you, even after that promotion, it’s still a shit show because now you answer to an even bigger ego.
The only reason I’d actually put up with this is if I had family and dependants relying on my income. Then, you can’t really risk uncertainty, unless you have something else certain to fall back on.
I’d still be working behind the scenes on a side hustle, so that I can, in the near future, quit my job.
Paul says that with so many options out there of what we can actually do if we put our minds to it, we are tempted to stick to something certain so that we can avoid the hard work of figuring out what we really want.
The Prestige Trap
Some will stay in their position of certainty, purely because of the reputation their job holds. The key here is that your job actually holds the status, not you.
If you were to die tomorrow, someone else would fill that job.
I watched an interview on YouTube, I can’t remember who it was but the story resonated and stuck in my head.
A guy was in a high-paying corporate job where he traveled the globe to secure contracts.
When he’d get to these company HQs or wealthy people’s houses and offices, the service he received was 5-star. He’d get cooked meals, drinks on the house, paid-for accommodation, complimentary gym memberships, exclusive vacations, and more.
His position was made redundant due to company restructuring and cost-cutting, so he was demoted.
He’d attend company events and would drink out of paper cups from water dispensers, just like everyone else.
At this point, he realized he had made the mistake of thinking he had the prestige.
It was the opposite. That specific position in the company had a reputation and prestige. He was a disposable nobody.
It’s too easy to think you’re irreplaceable. Take it from me, they can, and they will.
Paul Graham, the founder of a startup incubator puts this perfectly:
“Prestige is a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy.”
Paul Graham
When you’re in that prestigious career, it’s easy to convince yourself that you’re enjoying the job, but what you’re actually enjoying is the social status that the job brings you.
When you make a decision that involves an element of prestige, be careful about how you approach that decision and understand what is truly motivating you.
Do you actually want to take that job, or is it because you think people will respect you more?
The Should Trap
I should do this. I should get a stable job. I should have a secure career.
There are things that you should do. Like making your bed in the morning, or exercising frequently to keep healthy.
However, this ‘should‘ attitude can often stop you from making important changes in your life.
I should stay in this job because it pays well and comes with prestige. People respect me, and when I tell them what I do at parties, they love it. My mom is really proud of me.
I should work a full-time job. I’d be lazy if I didn’t work 40 hours a week, I wouldn’t know what to do. Besides, I’ve spent so long learning about it, training, and getting a degree. If I quit now, all that time will be wasted.
The point I’m making here is that we shouldn’t try to get rid of all the ‘shoulds’, but it’s important to recognize the motivation behind them and use them in a positive way.
If you did quit your job, and started a new business, even if it didn’t work out, your ‘should’ mindset will kick in and you’ll get yourself out of that tricky situation.
Final Thoughts
The Pathless Path was a really impactful book. It pushed the self-doubt and imposter feeling out of me.
Yes, there are reasons why you should stay in your job, but you need to take a step back and reassess.
Are these reasons actually important, or is there another reason driving your choice? Think about your true motivations as to why you’re willing to suffer.
There isn’t a single person I’ve spoken to who likes their job, and 80% don’t have a real reason to stay in one. Do you?
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